Wednesday, November 30, 2011

She did it again...and so did I.

 My four-year-old has a problem. Whenever she gets access to scissors, she is inclined to cut cut cut- her hair!!! This time it wasn't cute or funny- it was infuriating! All day her biggest worry was that her hair would get cut short and people would think she was a boy. And that was exactly what we had to do- I darn near cried the whole time. My friend Lisa did her best but there were some parts that were just not able to be salvaged- thank goodness for hair clips and headbands! I hope this time she'll learn her lesson.

   I was angry with her all day and very frustrated with all I had to do (clean the house, get Sophia to dance and then to get her hair cut before heading to church for supper and small group). I find myself feeling that way often- overwhelmed with everything I have to do around the house, frustrated with trying to raise my children to be good, God-fearing young people, trying to do everything and be everything to everyone all the time. I don't know why we do this to ourselves! I had the opportunity to nap today (and I needed it~ I woke up with each of the kids last night and was up about every two hours) and instead of doing that, I cleaned the house and put stuff up on the walls. My husband was the smart one- he got home from work and went straight up to bed for a nap.

  I took a shower, then went to pick the kids up and take them all to dance class. I had to keep the boys entertained while Sophia danced, then take all three kids to the hair salon by myself. I called my husband a few times to see if he could come and help me (and left progressively more frustrated messages) until he finally answered. By then, it was 5:45 pm (we were supposed to be at church around 6 pm). Instead of staying calm, I got upset and took it out on Brandon who just took a nap! Granted, he didn't set an alarm or have his phone nearby, but I didn't need to be so angry at him either. We rushed to church after Lisa cut off the majority of Sophia's hair and had just enough time to scarf some pizza before dropping the kids at the nursery and heading up the stairs to small group. The message tonight (we're doing Sheparding a Child's Heart, and it's been really enlightening to this point) was on changing the heart and not the behavior. This leads me to think about why I act the way I do as well- and that I need to change my heart and show my children what they need to do.
 
  Sophia disobeyed me tonight by taking all her princesses into bed with her so we talked about selfishness and what that means. I asked her who we should put first, ourselves or ______, and she answered "other people." I'm hoping this means that she's starting to understand and that I really can get to her heart! This whole parenting thing is much harder than anyone ever told me it would be- but it's also entirely more rewarding! We have our moments, but it melts my heart when they, out of the blue, tell me how much they love me (it's "to the heavens" at our house).  I just pray that I can lead them the way God wants me to.
Sophia with her new haircut and Lisa